Something was written on the tablecloth. It said “Vos es obvius nefas capulus shop.” He thought it was just written upside down, but then recalled a barista who’d rejected him in Rome and realized it was Latin for “You are in the wrong coffee shop”. So he left.

The dude followed him onto the sidewalk. Jerry turned left, then right, then left, then right, feeling like a Democratic campaign advisor. The dude interrupted him.

“Jerry. Listen, there isn’t much time. I know you saw the aliens. That was no dream or high induced fit. They’re real and they are here to destroy us.”

“Why?”

“It all goes back to an ugly incident in the 80’s. One of them stopped in town for a banana split, but it was December and Dairy Queen was closed. Why do you think the state made them put on their interstate sign that they are open only from Feb 15- Nov 15th ? To avoid intergalactic incidents.”

“So, I’ll never see get to see America win a medal in mixed pairs biathlon. Or that woman in the coffee shop ever again.”

“No, but let me be clear about one thing. And the future of the everything depends on this. NO ONE MAY REFER TO HER AGAIN until the end of our quest to save the earth.”

Jerry pondered this:

If I never spoke to her again, had she at least heard the sound of my heart striking my head across my face? Seen me yearn for her, like wind striking a silent chime?

“Jerry? First, what did I just say? Second, there is no time for overwrought poetry. We’ve got one chance at this.”

“How can you be sure we have any chance?”

“Because the Silge want to destroy the earth on April 2nd.”

“So?”

“That’s a Friday. Destroying the earth on a Monday or even a Wednesday? Okay. But a Friday? That’s just wrong. Which means we’ve got some cosmic juice on our side. Come on, we need to see someone about a ship.”

The dude led him to a non-descript, but LEED certified building on East Main. As they walked, Jerry thought:

In the original movie Spartacus, the real hero is the first guy who jumped up and said “I’m Spartacus” after the real Spartacus stood up to accept his fate. Because that guy, as opposed to the other hundred who followed him and said “No, I’m Spartacus.”? The Romans could have looked at that guy and said “Close enough. Crucify him.”

“Dude?”

“Yes, Jerry”

“I’m Spartacus.”

“That’s cool, man. But actually, our Spartacus is a woman and you are about to meet her.”