Chapter 6

It’s easy to assume this narrative’s been ran­dom, but the voice of each install­ment was heard by the one that fol­lowed. Truly. Evo­lu­tion, schmevo­lu­ton. Let’s tie this shit together: there was the void; pre Fry and Lau­rie, pre microwave pop­corn, pre mimes, pre bees, pre-free-to-be-you-and-me.

Then the belch that brought it all into being; ran­dom (yes, again) but awe­some. Then imme­di­ate devolve­ment; do not pass go, do not eat the apple in the gar­den of Eden — sim­ply pre­scribe to con­spir­acy the­ory, over­priced milky cof­fee, cannabis, pseudo-politics, outer-planetary beings, pinkie rings, fes­ter­ing pop music and BAM — you’ve got your­self a story-ish.

There’s a Jerry, a Michelle (aka Frida Fuzzy­pants; she’s got weather-defying fleece-encased thighs, and may or may not have cof­fee mak­ing skills despite her pur­ported ghost sta­tus) and a cul­tural Boze­man hub. All are the­o­ret­i­cally caf­feinated. Surely cof­fee is the finest drug: legal, afford­able, effec­tive daily, smells good, tastes good, con­tains rit­ual — so it must be repressed. Sell them warm homog­e­nized cow-udder by-product with processed corn syrup addi­tives instead and they’ll pay dou­ble to stick around wait­ing for the elu­sive cof­fee buzz. Toss in cannabis, a smidgen of enter­tain­ment and promise of sex and they’re even more hooked.

So, back to Jerry and his vague Muse as they sud­denly clasp hands and peer into the void of the pre-told end of the world as we know it… (and do you feel fine?)

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